Friday, April 17, 2015

Finding Inspiration To Change For The Better

"When your child walks into a room, does your face light up?" asks Nobel Prize winner Toni Morrison.
I discovered this question tonight and it gave me pause for thought. Does my face light up? Or am I always more concerned about the book I am reading, or the problems with the cats, or is the computer more important at that exact moment when my son walks into a room? Sadly more often than not, I seem to be too preoccupied. 

 "When my children used to walk in the room, when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up," Toni Morrison told Oprah in 2000. "You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face. But if you let your face speak what's in your heart...because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that, you see."  

When your children are young, you have this unseen pressure to be the perfect parent. To have the perfect children who act appropriately. Or else you will get "that look." The look of, oh you really messed this up. Goodness, I hate that look.

There is so much pressure for perfection that you forget what Toni Morrison asks. Because, heaven forbid your child stepped outside with uncombed hair. How could your face possibly light up when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. 



I ponder this question because on the day that this is posted it will be my son's 22 birthday. 

I think to myself, wouldn't it have been nice to find this question earlier in my life? Say 22 years ago. Because back then I was worried about what to make for dinner, was the laundry done, did we brush our teeth, hurry up and get dishes done before nap, what would happen if today we did not get a nap, will we have enough time to play outside, did I forget to pack something in the diaper bag? Goodness, as I write this I am stressing out. And so there goes my light.

So am I too late? Because my son is older, have I totally messed every thing up? Or is a person ever too old to learn something new. I hope not. 

As C. S. Lewis states, "You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream."
Because finding this question has given me food for thought. Do I really want to be so preoccupied that I forget to show on my face the light that needs to be there. The light that says I am happy you are here.  

No, I am not too old to learn something new. How exciting it is to realize that I can change an old habit and correct something that needs to be corrected. Put down the book, put the computer on stand by. These things can wait. And that light that is so important will shine through. Undivided attention. Acknowledging that another person is important. That you are happy to see them. Shouldn't this light extend to others as well?

When are you too old to learn something new. Never, I say. There are endless books to read. The world wide web at your finger tips. Or a quote that you read on a roadside billboard. Find inspiration in everyday life and never be too busy to let that light shine through so that others see how important they are to you.





Subscribe by email

* indicates required

15 comments:

  1. Great food for thought, Kathy. I am going to try to be more mindful of this today when I see them and smile first to show them how much I love them, before I ask them if they have cleaned their rooms! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Exactly Kim! Lol Rooms still need to be cleaned up!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Undivided attention.... Is there anything more precious, which we can give, to anyone??? Nope... Don't think so.

    And at any age, one can learn to give undivided attention, to anyone (everyone).

    This is the Wisdom, I take, from your post.

    Thank you!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Tessa, and I am in such a big hurry for everything else but what really matters.

      Delete
  4. That is so interesting, Kathy. It is amazing how much we have to think about when our kids are young. It is really funny about the "face". My granddaughter, SweetCheeks, said to me one day- "You're face is ALWAYS SMILING when you see us!". Maybe that is what lighting up is all about! xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the most awesome comment from your granddaughter! What a great way for her to think about you. I loved my grandmother, but I am not sure she ever really smiled.

      Delete
  5. I, too, wish that I had learned this sooner, Kathy. I also have a 22-year-old son, and I'm quite sure that my face doesn't light up when he walks into our house and that I don't always give him my undivided attention. This applies to my husband and other people as well. I'm thankful for your post today. I have a lot to improve upon ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do too +Julie Reinwald. I am always so preoccupied. This is something I need to work on.

      Delete
  6. Lots of wisdom expressed here! But I don't think we mothers need to beat ourselves up over the universal concerns we had at the time our kids were young. A responsible parent always has something on her mind! Now that I'm a grandma, I see how much easier it is to light up when the kids arrive - it's no longer my primary responsibility to feed them, dress them and make sure they're clean and healthy. Now it's my job to spoil them. And I do that very, very well, thank-you-very-much! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this. I am not a grandmother yet. However, I can not wait to spoil them terribly. :) I am taking notes from everyone's blogs! Lol But, I still do need to learn to lighten up a bit...

      Delete
  7. My husband and I cheer for our kids when they get home, or even when they join us downstairs from their rooms. I guess it's really kind of funny. We greet their friends that come to the house the same way. When our oldest son was a toddler we lived in an apartment and when we would go for a stroll through the complex everyone would cheer and wave to him. I think that's how it started. I'm sure your son saw your light growing up, everyone expresses themselves in their own way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is awesome Sally. What a great way to express how happy you are to see your children and others. I need to follow this example. Just these simple greetings really can brighten another's day!

      Delete
  8. My husband and I cheer for our kids when they get home, or even when they join us downstairs from their rooms. I guess it's really kind of funny. We greet their friends that come to the house the same way. When our oldest son was a toddler we lived in an apartment and when we would go for a stroll through the complex everyone would cheer and wave to him. I think that's how it started. I'm sure your son saw your light growing up, everyone expresses themselves in their own way.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love that question and have heard it before and I sometimes wonder too. I hope my face does light up way more times then it is impatient-I know I can do better though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. I know I can do better, also. And I am working on it. I am never to old to try and do better and learn something new!

      Delete

Comments are greatly appreciated. I read every one.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...